i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
