Where did you get a picture of my penis
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
