i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
