how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize