Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize