Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
