The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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