During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
God, I missed his penis.
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