? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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