I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
