I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
