When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
