I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
