I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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