your thong is hanging out like whoa
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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