So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
