your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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