yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
