are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
this boner is exhausting
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
