i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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