dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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