Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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