At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
