This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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