normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
