I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
