chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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