Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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