I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Randomize
