yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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