I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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