Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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