So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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