i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
