Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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