Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
