My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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