forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize