When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
