so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
