some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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