I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
