D3 body, D1 cock
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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