He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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