wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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