apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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