sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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