White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
