I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
