The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
