im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
