I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
