It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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