I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
