its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
