These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize