Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
