it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
