i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
