My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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