I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
