You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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