I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
