Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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