Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize