It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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