I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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