I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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