How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
