who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
