I cockslap morals
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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